


Autumn Leaves

by hazellepotter



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergent AU, Developing Relationship, First Love, Goblet of Fire AU, Hogwarts AU, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-20 00:42:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12421482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazellepotter/pseuds/hazellepotter
Summary: No words were spoken as their lips touched, and that’s when Harry realized Cedric wasn’t like porcelain. He was strong; he was stronger than Harry ever was. It was Harry who should have feared being shattered by his very touch.





	Autumn Leaves

The autumn leaves were falling that day. Harry remembered that distinctly.

He was eleven years old and on the Quidditch pitch when he first saw him. It was the first time Harry had ever experienced butterflies in his stomach, and they were so overpowering that he had to leave practice early. He could not gather up the courage to talk to him.

Maybe the sorting hat was wrong about placing him in Gryffindor. Maybe he wasn't brave at all.

 

* * *

 

Three years later, he finally introduced himself on the way to the Quidditch World Cup. That's when the fluttering of the butterfly's wings left his stomach and made their way to his heart. They were flapping so erratically that he could hardly breathe, and he wondered if that sensation was something he should have feared.

“I’m Cedric,” he had told him, “It’s nice to meet you.”

He had offered him his hand to help him up from the ground. Harry was embarrassed that he was so clumsy landing from the port-key. He couldn’t help but feel mild irritation towards Mr. Weasley for not warning him about it sooner, but how could he have known that Harry would care so much about something so small?

“I-I’m Harry,” he stumbled.

All Harry could remember from that moment was how warm Cedric’s smile was. It spread from ear to ear, and his teeth were perfect except for the slight chip on one of his bottom teeth.

“I know,” he reassured him, “Everyone knows who you are.”

Sure they did, Harry thought, but did they really?

_Harry didn't even know himself._

 

* * *

 

It was Halloween night of his fourth year when Harry’s heart truly broke for the first time. Cedric was angry at him, just like he had been angry at the world. It was the first time he had seen Cedric look cold.

“So you didn’t put your name into the goblet? Are you sure?”

Cedric’s voice was accusatory, but Harry could see he was trying hard to swallow it down with civility. He was a better person than Harry was, that much was clear. _But it had been clear since the very beginning._

“I swear I didn’t, Cedric,” he told him honestly, “Why would I want to risk my life again when I have already lost so much? Why would I want to take this away from _you?"_

Harry watched as Cedric stayed silent. He looked into Harry’s eyes one last time, rubbed his lips together, and then turned on his heel.

He was gone and around the corner before Harry could think of what to say next.

 

* * *

 

“The badges, I’ve asked them not to wear them,” Cedric pleaded, “Please don’t be upset with me.”

Harry wanted to tell him that he could never be upset with him, _not really._ He was already too upset with himself to even thinking about directing his feelings elsewhere.

“It’s okay,” Harry reassured him, “I believe you.”

He watched as relief spread across Cedric's face. That’s when Harry realized that Cedric was made of porcelain. He could easily be broken because he cared too much. Cedric was pure at heart, _so what did that make Harry?_

That fact scared him; Cedric could not be tainted. He had to stay away, it was the only way to keep him safe. But he had get him through this tournament.

“Dragons,” he finally told him, “That’s the first task.”

But Harry didn't take the time to hear Cedric's response. He just walked away. He feared what more he would have said if he stayed.

 

* * *

 

Harry was relieved that the first task was over, but he needed some air. Hermione created a diversion for him to leave the Gryffindor common room, and he escaped as quickly as he could.

It was cold outside, and all the autumn leaves had fallen to the ground. Harry could see his breath in the air, and he tugged his jacket closer to his body. He was frightened by a twig breaking in the Forbidden Forest behind him.

When he turned around, he asked, “What are you doing here, Cedric?”

Cedric appeared from the shadows, and his cheeks were flushed. His hands were shoved into his pockets, and that’s when he realized Cedric looked _guilty._

“I’m sorry for accusing you of putting your name in the goblet,” he finally blurted, “It was wrong of me. I know you’re a man of your word.”

Harry blinked a few times, and his lips slightly parted. That’s when he realized they were chapped.

“You weren’t the only one who thought I put my name in the goblet,” he said bitterly, “Don’t worry about it.”

Harry was angry; he was angry at himself for letting himself feel these things. He was angry at himself for not keeping his own personal word to stay away from Cedric. _He wasn’t keeping his word to keep Cedric safe._

“Are you upset with me?” Cedric whispered.

He approached Harry slowly, and he stopped when he was a few inches in front of him. The fog from their breaths were now becoming one.

Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath, but this time, he found the courage he had lacked all those years ago.

“No,” he answered honestly, “I’m upset with myself. I can’t stay away from you.”

Harry opened his eyes to see a look of shock register on Cedric’s face, until his eyes softened with _recognition._ That’s when Harry knew he understood.

No words were spoken as their lips touched, and that’s when Harry realized Cedric wasn’t like porcelain. He was strong; he was stronger than Harry ever was. It was Harry who should have feared being shattered by his very touch.

 

* * *

 

“You asked Cho Chang to the ball?” Harry asked him angrily.

He watched as Cedric rubbed the back of his neck like he did every time he was stressed.

 _“I didn’t have a choice,”_ Cedric said softly, _“My dad-“_

“Screw your, dad!” Harry yelled, “What about me?”

Cedric didn’t say anything as he looked up at Harry from his seat.

_That was the moment Harry shattered; it wasn’t from Cedric’s touch, it was from the lack of it._

 

* * *

 

Harry hadn’t talked to Cedric in weeks, and he wanted to make sure it stayed that way. It was over, _it was done._ Harry had to protect himself for once.

But it was hard to run away when he saw Cedric walking towards him.

“How-how are you?” Cedric asked nervously.

Harry raised his brow and sarcastically replied, _“Spectacular.”_

He watched Cedric’s Adams apple bob as he swallowed. Harry felt the butterflies in his stomach flutter. They were his constant companion.

He had expected Cedric to apologize, but he didn’t. Instead, he slipped his hand quickly into his and handed him a key. But to Harry’s dismay, Cedric’s lingering touch was gone before Harry could once again memorize it.

“You know the prefects bathroom on the fifth floor? It’s not a bad place for a bath. Bring your egg, and mull things over in it.”

Cedric’s cheeks were flushed as he looked down at the ground. Harry watched him and could sense that he wanted to say something more, but he didn’t. Instead, Cedric just walked away. 

They were both good at that, Harry realized.  _They were both good at walking away from the things they feared most._

 

* * *

 

Harry dropped his robe as he stepped into the tub. The water was hot as it splashed against his skin, and a wave of heat rushed through his body. He was startled when he heard a voice, but he recognized it immediately. It was one of those sounds that was hard to forget.

"Did you bring your egg?" Cedric asked.

Harry crossed his legs in the tub and tried to look casual.

“Yes,” he answered quietly.

He grabbed it from the ledge and showed him.

Cedric surprised him by dropping his robe and stepping into the tub next to him. Harry tried to look away, but he _couldn’t._ He was transfixed as he sat down next to him.

Cedric placed his hand over Harry’s that was holding the egg.

“Put it underwater,” Cedric told him softly, “It will tell you what to do for the next task.”

Harry nodded and tried to duck under the water, but Cedric stopped him by cupping his cheek with his free hand.

Harry's breath caught in his throat.

“Why are you doing this?” Harry whispered, “Why are you helping me?”

Cedric rubbed the pad of his thumb against Harry’s cheek, and Harry could feel his cheeks flush with desire.

Cedric’s answer surprised him, but it shouldn’t have. Not really. 

**_“Because you deserve to be saved, too.”_ **

 

* * *

 

“Why is she the person you would miss most?” Harry asked him.

He wasn’t angry, he was simply curious. He was tired of being angry all the time.

“Because that’s who people _want_ me to miss most,” Cedric replied carefully, “And besides, Dumbledore told me later he would have chosen you if you weren’t in the tournament competing as well.”

That's when Harry’s shattered pieces were being put back together, one by one. Who knew words could fix you? 

 

* * *

 

“Cedric, no!” Harry yelled, “He’s bewitched!”

Harry struggled to disarm him, but Cedric eventually let go of his wand without much more of a fight.

“He-he was going to kill me! _He was going to kill you! I_ -I couldn’t let that happen, Harry,” Cedric cried desperately.

He buried his head into the crook of Harry’s neck, and Harry just held him.

“This is almost over,” Harry reassured him, “I promise.”

Cedric finally pulled away, and he grabbed Harry’s hand.

“You should go,” he told him, “I see the cup. You deserve it.”

Harry looked down at their hands and gently rubbed his thumb against Cedric’s palm.

“No,” he said softly, “We should go together.”

As the wind picked up, Cedric put their foreheads together for a short moment. It was hardly enough time for Harry to catch his breath.

 _“Together,”_ Cedric whispered.

Harry was the first to pull away. He was the one to lead them towards the cup to end it all. His decision was the one that changed everything.

 

* * *

 

“Cedric, get back to the cup!” Harry yelled frantically, “I have been here before!”

Cedric turned around and rushed to Harry’s side, “What are you talking about?”

 _But it was too late._ Harry saw their shadows, and his body was burning. But not like the times when Cedric was caressing his skin or kissing his lips. The poison from his blood was finally boiling over. _It had always been within him._

“Who are you!?” Cedric yelled, “What do you want!?”

**“Kill the spare!”**

Harry looked up from the ground, and his vision was blurred from the tears in his eyes. The pain of his realization was indescribable; it made the poison under his skin feel like ice.

“CEDRIC, NO!” Harry screamed.

But it was too late.

**“AVADA KEDAVRA!”**

 

* * *

 

All Harry saw next was a flash of green light and Cedric’s body falling to the ground like autumn leaves.

His thoughts raced to the first time he saw him on the Quidditch pitch all those years ago.

_And then it was over._


End file.
